I had my boyfriend’s company holiday party to go to, and I am someone who loves to get dressed up. It might be because most days I don’t leave my house and I’m in grubby pottery making clothes, or maybe it’s just who I am.
So, a head of time I pulled out a few dresses that I might wear. The one I really wanted to wear was the red one, but I had a green one that would be nice too. See, I’ve put in a few pounds this year. I’ve been skipping some of my workouts, probably snaking more than I should. The red dress is pretty form fitting, and I wasn’t sure I could “pull it off” with the extra pounds on me.
So, the day before the holiday party I tried on my dresses. First, I tried on the red dress. I stood in front of the mirror ridiculing myself. Thinking how everyone is going to think I’m fat, how disgusting my lower tummy pooch is. How I was lazy for skipping my workouts, and how I need to stop stuffing my face with pretzels and hummus.
Then I went and tried on the green dress. I thought, this is the dress I should wear, no one can see as much of my body in this dress... then I stopped myself. I went and put the red dress back on! I stood in front of the mirror again, but this time I asked myself what I would think if it was someone else, if it was one of Joe’s coworkers wearing this dress. What would my thoughts and comments be if it was a friend wearing this dress?
I would think that the dress was beautiful, I would think they looked amazing in it. See, I hold myself to a standard and expectation that is almost unattainable at times, a standard I would never hold anyone else to. So, I put the green dress away and then put myself in a time out for self-bullying. Yep, that’s right, self-bullying. We are always so quick to whistle blow the kids in school who bully, to the cyber trolls who bully, but what about the bullying we do to ourselves each and every day?
The self-bullying is what hurts us the most, what cuts us down the lowest, but it’s also the only kind we have control over. So next time you hear a friend putting herself down, call her out on her self-bullying. The next time you catch yourself bullying you, put a stop to it, call yourself out. No one deserves to be treated to that way, you are amazing and wonderful as is.
Lots of love,
Lindsay Klix
Artist and Owner of Off Your Rocket Pottery
P.S. It would mean the world to me if you would take a look at the handmade dinnerware I make, and if you see something you like, please get it, because you’re worth it!
